Character Bios

Everything you've ever wanted to know about the characters of 'The Laconic Student's Dilemma'! Probably.


"There's beauty in everything, you just need to know where to look!"

A nineteen year-old pyronkinetic sparrowhawk and the hero of our tale. 'Permanent Firebird' is not their actual last name, rather, it is a title. Their real last name is 'Hawk', but their title & last name can be used interchangeably. They are a sort of phoenix; the last in a long lineage of other 'Permanent Firebirds' and have been reincarnated thousands -- if not millions -- of times. They have vague memories of their previous lives. They are headstrong, stubborn, and energetic, yet they can also be brooding and surprisingly intelligent at times. They are currently recovering from a nasty injury that's rendered them unable to fly (for the most part, anyway).

LIKES: Anton, sleeping in, long car rides, Count Duckula & Danger Mouse cartoons


"Respect is more than envy, and respect is more than jealousy."

A tactlessly edgy prettyboy wizard who serves as Hong's 'custodian'. He prefers the term "mentor", as he finds being called a 'custodian' demeaning. He serves as a sort of guide to Hong, teaching them the ins and outs of magic usage. He lives with Hong in a dorm paid for by the government, working with them tirelessly (or not) in order to further their magical prowess. He had a promising future as a powerful sorceror, but an unfortunate incident caused him to lose most of his magic abilities. He's extremely insecure about this, and copes with daily frustrations by smoking and drinkng. Even though he tends to treat Hong with disdain, he is actually quite chivalrous towards them and cares about their wellbeing deeply.

LIKES: skramz, cheap beer, combat boots, cold weather